


Beloved and Loves

by KitokaMada



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Break Up, Falling In Love, Feelings, Friendship, HashiMada, Izuna Uchiha, M/M, Romance, Smut, Tattoos, madasasu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27713246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitokaMada/pseuds/KitokaMada
Summary: Madara is in a happy relationship with Hashirama. One day Sasuke comes into his tattoo studio and Madara mistakes him for his deceased brother Izuna. When he also wants to have the date of Izuna's death tattooed, Madara no longer believes in coincidence. He can't get Sasuke out of his head. Nobody can understand him as much as he does, because a certain event connects the two of them. But how does this affect his long-standing relationship with Hashirama?
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Madara/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	1. For your tattoos

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first fanfic here!
> 
> Since I’ve read very little fanfics in English until now, I don’t really know how you would say specific fanfiction/lemon related sentences in English. Therefore some phrases might sound a bit weird to you.  
> Also I just realized that the translator almost didn’t use any abbreviations, when I already was halfway through with correcting. That’s why it might be a bit bulky to read.  
> Please have mercy with weird punctuation, wrong prepositions, probably fucked up grammar and weird sounding sentences because I have no clue if they are the correct English counterpart to the German ones.  
> If anyone wants to, feel free to correct all of my mistakes. I would be really thankful for that!
> 
> I know that I don't have to justify myself but well, at least I want to explain myself.
> 
> Now, have fun (hopefully).
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_Who's more desperate?  
You're on your knees, boo  
But when you fuck up, I don't leave you  
I can't leave you, oh  
Guess you're permanent, can't be removed  
Each time my heart breaks, it's like a new tattoo  
Don't need a new tattoo _

A soft ringing sounds, as Sasuke pushes open the entrance door to the tattoo studio and enters. On the walls hang pictures of various tattoos, on the small tables next to the sofa and the armchairs are folders with further motives.  
Slowly he walks towards the counter, behind which a young woman is standing and smiles at him friendly.

"Hello sweetie, what can I do for you? Ink or steel?", she asks, briefly glancing over him. Her hair reaches slightly above her chin and is dyed purple. The skin under her lower lip is adorned with a round piercing, and in her décolleté there is the tattoo of an entwined rose. On her arms she has engraved different motives.

"A tattoo. On the left forearm", he replies curtly, blowing an annoying strand from his forehead.

"Depending on the size, you'll need an appointment," she replies and leans forward so that Sasuke could look down her low-cut neckline, if he wanted to.  
"It should only be a date."

She straightens up, slides a sheet of paper under a clipboard and puts it down for him. "Fill this out. I'll go tell the boss." With these words she leaves him and goes out the back door. There, leaning against the wall and with a cigarette between his fingers, stands the owner of the studio.

"I have a customer for you", she lets him know, takes the cigarette out of his fingers and tugs at it herself once before giving it back to him and looking at his dissatisfied face.

"What does he want?" He inhales the smoke deeply before slowly letting it escape from his lungs. "  
“Just a date.”

With an amused snort, he blows the smoke out through his nose. "You do it then, if it's just a little thing."  
"I've got a twinge appointment in a minute, darling." She takes one last puff before she gives him the cigarette altogether. "Otherwise I would have done it, because I know you and I know that you don't want to be disturbed in your doing nothing," she teases the man next to her, whose gaze darkens.

"If taxes are 'nothing' to you, I can also skip your salary next month. That‘s just as much‘nothing’ to me". He puts his cigarette out in the ashtray, opens the door and pushes the stone aside with his foot, which always keeps it open while he smokes one outside. Konan follows him, whereupon he lets the heavy steel door close.

"Yes yes, all right. Get a grip on yourself or have you suddenly got your period?" she replies, as they walk together to the entrance, amazed at his pissed-off mood. But there is no answer.

Madara stops. His heart almost slides into his pants when he sees the boy standing there at the counter and putting his signature under the form. He only sees him in profile, yet he is sure that it is his little brother.

"Izuna?" he whispers incredulously, fearing that all this is just an illusion that will dissolve if he is too loud.

The boy turns his head to Madara. Disappointment is immediately felt in him. It is not his brother. How could it be? After all, Izuna had died some years ago. But he looks incredibly like him. Only his features are a bit softer and his hair is shorter. Moreover, he is a lot smaller than Izuna was. But their eyes are the same. Even though the expression in Sasuke's is much cooler and sadder than it was with Madara's brother.

Sasuke looks somewhat irritated at the tattoo artist who is standing opposite him and staring at him. He hasn't understood what he has said, but for now he looks as if he has seen a ghost. For a short moment Sasuke looks at him. He is wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt, under which his well-built body can be seen, and trousers that are almost as tight, also black. His black hair reaches almost to his hips and stands off in all directions. As if he had just got out of bed recently. On his right upper arm down to his elbow he has various Maori tattoos, on his left forearm there are different motives, which Sasuke can't recognize at first sight. In contrast to Konans his tattoos are all in black.

As soon as the moment of disappointment and insight is over, Madara recovers. He tautens his shoulders, raises his chin and pretends that a moment ago he was not standing completely beside himself. Konan hands him the clipboard, his eyes wander briefly over the form before he gives it back to her.

"Sasuke then?"he turns to the boy, although at twenty-one he is no longer that.  
"Come on back then." As he turns away and goes into the tattoo room, he still hears the bell above the door as Konan's customer enters the shop. Before he lets himself sink onto his swivel chair, he closes the door behind Sasuke. "Sit down." With his chin he points to the leather deck chair. While Sasuke sits down, he takes a look at his mobile phone before addressing his customer again. "What can I make you happy with? Konan mentioned a date?”

"Yes, here," he answers and points to the inside of his left forearm. Madara reaches for a block, puts it on her knee and takes a pencil.

"How exactly? Curved, serrated, neutral? The month written out as a word?" He leans forward, fixes the paper with his eyes and waits for an answer.

"Just something very simple. The twenty-fourth July two thousand and ten, with a zero in front of the seven. And underneath, in katakana, the name Itachi."

Madara stops moving as he tries to place the pen on the paper. The day Izuna died. Can it really be such a big coincidence? That someone who looked like his little brother came to him and wanted the day Izuna died tattooed?

"The date of the Love Parade, huh?", he mentions casually and as uninvolved as possible and draws the numbers onto the paper.

Sasuke tenses up, trying to detect a movement in Madara's facial expressions, but the latter has lowered his head and looks intently at the pencil lines. He doesn't answer, waits for Madara to turn to him again and hold the block so he can see what he has drawn.

"Like this?” he asks and looks at him scrutinisingly. "You can say if you don't like something. I will work on it until you are satisfied. After all, it remains on your skin for the rest of your life.”  
Briefly but searchingly, Sasuke looks at the design of his tattoo and finally nods. "That's it."

Madara rolls back with the chair and transfers the design onto transfer paper. "Where do you want to have it exactly?", he finally wants to know, sitting next to him with gloves and a disposable razor. Sasuke points to the middle of his forearm, leans on the backrest and looks at the wall while Madara removes the hairs on his arm.

"Did you lose someone that day?" Madara tries a second time, but this time he doesn't get an answer to the question either. "My little brother was at the festival. He was one of the victims," he adds after a short pause, not even sure why he tells a stranger about it.

At these words Sasuke turns his head and looks at the tattoo artist. He doesn't want to believe him, but Madara lifts his own left arm and reveals to Sasuke the same date, which is emblazoned in the same place where Sasuke's tattoo will be in a few minutes. Next to it is a smiley face, which has certainly not been stabbed by a professional. As well as a heart in which the initials "M+I" are written. Below the date of the festival name Izuna is written and below it the tenth of February.

Only when Madara lets his arm sink, Sasuke averts his gaze from it. He never expected to find someone who would understand him so well. Who probably went through the same thing as he did.

Madara transfers the drawing from the foil to Sasuke's skin as he takes the floor. "Itachi was my older brother. He let himself be persuaded by some friends to go along, although he didn't even want to." His voice is low. You can't help but hear that he would rather not talk about it.

"I saw that your birthday was the day before. That certainly didn't make it any easier," says Madara, lowering his voice himself. The machine hums softly when he turns it on - a new model, quieter than most. He briefly dips the needle into the black paint before applying it to the skin.

"Hm", Sasuke hums in agreement, watching as the needle disappears again and again under his skin. "He promised to take me to the cinema the next day." He doesn't know himself why he tells a stranger all these things. It is nobody's business, not even someone’s who has experienced the same thing. In the seven years that have passed since then, he hasn't talked to anyone about it. He hasn't even told his parents how he felt afterwards. All by himself he tried to process it, tried to get used to a life without Itachi. Now it hurts even more to talk about it all at once, even if he feels surprisingly empty whilst.

"And why are you only now getting the tattoo? You could have got it three years ago, with your parents' permission even earlier." With practised grips Madara runs the needle over the skin, wipes away the small drops of blood and ink, dips the needle in and puts it back on. "I wasn’t ready for this," is the short answer. Sasuke turns his head away and Madara decides to stop drilling into this painful wound. He himself would not want to be forced to talk about this event.

Silently, time passes until he stands up and puts the machine away. "Done." He briefly cleans the area with foam and then wraps the arm in cling film. He throws the gloves into the bin as he stands up to give Sasuke a tube of cream. "Regularly apply cream. If you have any questions, you can call and if there's anything wrong, just come in. We’ll find a solution."

With a nod Sasuke gets up. "How much do I owe you?"

He thinks for a moment before giving an answer that surprises not only Sasuke. "Nothing. Think of it as a gift that we went through the same shit." Together they go back to the counter where Sasuke takes a banknote from his wallet and puts it into the jar for tip. If he wouldn't pay for it, he would feel bad.

"I hope you'll be happy," Madara says, pointing to the new tattoo, even if he doesn't mean just that. "Should you ever want another one, I'd be happy to see you again."

"Thanks again. I'll keep it in mind. See ya." Without waiting for an answer, he turns around and leaves the studio. As the door opens and closes, the little bell jingles joyfully. Even when Sasuke is already around the corner and out of sight, Madara still looks at the spot where he was standing a moment ago. Subconsciously he strokes his left forearm.  
  
oOo  
  
Hashirama joyfully runs into the hall when he hears the front door falling into the lock. While Madara is still taking off his shoes, he falls around his neck and kisses him. "I missed you", he whispers smilingly against his lips.

"You are an idiot", Madara grumbles. "You say that every day."

"It's the truth!", Hashirama rebels. "You know how fast I miss you."

"That's right. I'm glad you're not permanently glued to my ass." He throws the jacket in the wardrobe. Hashirama would put it away later.

A dirty grin spreads on Hashirama's lips as he puts both hands on the said butt and pulls his friend towards him. "I only do that here at home. You know that," he whispers and breathes a kiss on his lips.

"I think something's burning," Madara merely replies as a burnt smell comes up his nose. Hashirama runs cursing into the kitchen. Madara can only shake his head over him. No idea why he's been with this jerk for six years or how you can bear it for so long.

He takes a quick look into the kitchen. As Hashirama puts the casserole dish into the oven and sets the alarm clock to thirty minutes, he decides to take a shower in time to wash the sweat off his body. As the water splashes down on his body, his thoughts circle around the events in the studio today. Sasuke ... Izuna ... The boy can't get out of his head, cling to his thoughts. His eyes wander to his arm, on which his brother's name is immortalised. With his fingertips he strokes the skin as if he could make a connection with him or touch or feel him.  
When a lump forms in his throat, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower. He roughly dries himself, then wraps the towel around his hips. He puts his hands on the sink, looks into his own eyes in the mirror until he sees Hashirama behind him.  
Hashirama noticed from the first moment Madara entered the shared flat that something with him today is different than usual. Something seems to oppress him and he would find out what it is all about.  
He puts his hands on his friend's waist, lets them slowly move up and slides them over his back. With his fingers he follows one of the feathers that decorate the angel wings on Madara's back. They reach from his shoulders to his hips and are more than beautiful. Some flying feathers decorate the back of his left upper arm. He feels a slight goose bump on the body under his touches. A look in the mirror tells him that Madara has closed his eyes, which makes him smile. So often Madara seems cold, repellent and untouchable. Maybe that is why he enjoys physical closeness so much.

Madara's magnificent hair lands over his shoulder at the front, revealing another tattoo that is otherwise always covered by it. Hashirama gently presses his lips into his neck, whereupon Madara leans his head forward a little. Now he strokes with his fingertips over his spine. They are not just wings on his back. They are those of an angel. A fallen angel. He kneels on one knee. On the bent leg he has supported his arms and laid his head on it. He is missing the face, the eyes, the nose, the mouth. But everything about his charisma conveys that he is broken.

Madara have already had the wings before, but he only had the angel attached to it after Izuna's death. He had actually been broken then. Hashirama has known him almost his whole life and was afraid that Madara would not survive Izuna's death. It had devastated him so much that he had fallen into a really hard and depressive phase. His brother had been everything to him, he had meant more to him than any other person could ever do. More than Hashirama could. During this time Hashirama had given him support and comfort. They had become closer and the result is that they are a couple now.

He puts one hand back at Madara's waist, the other hand he pushes towards his belly and touches the tight muscles. One last time he gently presses his lips into the neck of the other, then slowly releases from him. Silently, he takes a towel, dries Madara's hair with it, then tries to untangle it with a brush carefully.

Madara is aware that Hashirama is burning the question on his lips. He knows that he has noticed that something is wrong. He knows him too well for him to have been able to hide it from him. So he starts to tell him about it. How Sasuke came into his studio and he mistook him for Izuna. How he wanted the same date as the day Izuna died. That he first told him about Izuna before Sasuke told him about Itachi. That part of their past is the same.

When he has finished, Hashirama puts his arms around him again and presses his nose into his hair. "Thank you,"he whispers and strokes Madara's belly once more. "Thank you for telling me about this." He really is thankful because he knows that Madara doesn't like to talk about his brother anymore and tends to keep the subject quiet. And because he seldom says anything of his own accord without Hashirama having to ask first.

Only when the alarm clock rings Hashirama finally lets go of him. Madara gets dressed and finally sits down at the kitchen table where the food is already prepared.

Later they sit together on the sofa and watch a boring documentary about sea urchins until Madara rises and announces that he is going to bed. Immediately Hashirama agrees with him, turns everything off and cuddles up to him in bed. He tries to hide the fact that he has Madara's hair on his face and that they tickle him everywhere.

"I haven't been right on your butt yet today," Hashirama remarks with a glance at the clock. It is a quarter to ten. Far too early to go to sleep already.

"Then you won't have to anymore," Madara hums softly, plays lightly with Hashirama's fingers, who has slipped an arm under his head.

"You are mean," he sulks. "I want you to love me.”

A sigh comes over his lips. "I do love you and you know it," he returns with a grumble. These words make Hashirama smile immediatley. Madara does not tell him that he loves him often and when he does, it feels like the first time he said these three special words to Hashirama. Feelings of happiness flow through him, his heart beats faster and he is just happy.

He continuously pushes his free hand up and down at Madara's side, strokes his thigh and slowly pushes it inwards.

"Then show me how much you really love me," he breathes into his ear, touching the skin with his lips.

"Not now. I don't want to." Another grumble. With little will, he tries to push Hashirama's hand away, which slides between his legs and into his shorts.

"Bad luck for you because I do," he replies boldly, then lowers his voice so that it becomes a murmur.

"I'll just have to force you to be happy then."

Goose bumps spread over Madara's body. He would never admit it, but it really turns him on when Hashirama becomes dominant. The latter is well aware of this, presses Madara against his pelvis with his hand while he slowly massages him. He interlocks the fingers of the other hand with those of his friend. As Madara turns his head towards him, Hashirama grabs his lips, involves him in a passionate kiss and finally takes his mind off things. Away from Sasuke. Away from Izuna. Towards him and what feelings his hand are giving him right now.

Madara breaks off the kiss with a gentle gasp, clearly feeling the other's erection pressing against him.  
When Hashirama's arm goes numb under Madara's head, he pulls it away and bends over, forcing Madara to turn on his back. He does not like to lie down. Hashirama believes that his big ego has no place there because after all these years, Madara is still embarrassed to some extent that he likes to be the passive part. He is especially uncomfortable when Hashirama fingers him.

So he decides to make it a bit more comfortable for him, pulls his hand out of his trousers and takes them off without further ado. The T-shirt follows the pants to the floor. With both hands he moves over the muscular body underneath him, enjoying how the muscles tense up under his touches. He smirks as he sees Madara's grim face. After all, he is kneeling straight between his legs, spread only as far as necessary, and not even effectively distracting from his 'degrading' position. Maybe he would let him on top of him afterwards. Or take him from behind. Thinking about this, a satisfied buzz comes over his lips.

"It's nice that you're having a lot of fun in your head, but that doesn’t help me out here, outside your pea brain," Madara tears Hashirama from his thoughts. With a grin, he silences his friend by kissing him again. Roughly, Madara grabs his hair with one hand, pulls him towards himself, presses his tongue between his lips. This is the moment when Hashirama always loses to him. Madara kisses so incredibly good, he would love to do nothing else all day long.

He hardly lets himself sink on him, sighs contentedly once and enters the hot fight. Madara's legs press against his hips, which gives him the idea of moving them and rubbing against him. Madara gasps, gripping the long brown hair even tighter. It doesn't take long until Hashirama moves his pelvis at the speed he would take Madara later. He releases the kiss only to catch every little sound the other one makes in his lust.

Madara grabs Hashirama's top in a nervous manner, pulls it over his head and throws it on the floor with his own things. Because of the violent movements it takes him longer to open Hashirama's trousers and push them down over the pelvis together with his shorts. With one hand he grasps his shaft, massages it firmly, the other hand pushes it back into the hair of his opponent. For a moment Hashirama lets him do this, enjoys the feelings Madara triggers in him. Then he releases his hand from his shaft, presses it onto the bed next to him and crosses their fingers. In doing so, he clasps them both together with the other hand, massaging them while he continues to rub against him. The first groan he lets come over Madara’s lips, then he kisses him again, being so distracted by this that he almost doesn't notice how Madara cramps up under him when he is about to climax. Momentarily he stops moving, takes his hand away and makes space between their pelvis.

"Hashirama!" Madara snorts more than reproachfully as the orgasm slips further and further away from him with every second. The ass that dares to scold his friend, deserves the slap againsts the shoulder.

"Sorry", gurgles Hashirama happily and strokes a wisp of hair from his face. "I'll make it up to you," he promises, breathes a kiss on Madara's lips, who bites him for it, and kisses himself down on him. He feels the slight, joyful trembling of the body underneath him as he becomes aware of what is now awaiting him. Hashirama slips off the bed, remains kneeling in front of it on the soft carpet, pulls Madara further towards him at the back of his knees and allows him to make himself comfortable on the bed.  
Yes, it suits his ego to see him there in this position, kneeling in front of him.

Hashirama can’t hold back an amused snort, but before Madara has the chance to grumble again, he licks once over his whole length, enjoys the trembling that goes through the body in front of him and then takes him in his mouth. Completely. Right up to the stop.

Madara immediately buries a hand in Hashirama's hair, pushes the pelvis towards him and moans darkly. He feels his shaft pounding in Hashirama's throat, which only excites him even more. Again and again the lips roll over him, sometimes more gently, sometimes more firmly. With every movement the tongue rubs against the sensitive bottom and his glans. Hashirama strokes his legs, which hang from the bed next to him. The additional strong and yet gentle pressure on his testicles makes Madara moan louder than he wants to. Between his buttocks it gets a little wet as the saliva flows down on him.

Hashirama massages his perineum with his thumb, moving it further and further down. He presses it against the muscle that cramps under the touch, massaging it until it loosens and he can easily push a finger through. Suffocated, Madara gasps as Hashirama also moves his finger. Deep and firm, just as he secretly likes it.

When Madara takes his legs onto the bed all by himself, puts them on the edge and spreads them, Hashirama is a bit surprised. Madara is usually not _that_ willing. He must really need it.

He doesn't know which feeling to concentrate on; the damp heat around his cock or the rough vibration in his abdomen. In any case, the combination of both is phenomenal. "Hashirama," he gasps, does not even finish the sentence in one piece. "Enough..."

With a smacking sound, he lets the bulging shaft slide out of his mouth and pulls his fingers - now two - back as well.

"Oh darling," he murmurs, lowers his head further between Madara's legs, pulls him a little closer to him, "I'm not finished with you yet.” Aroused, he shudders at Madara's impatient, surprised, loud moaning as he licks over his entrance.  
  
oOo

Time passes and Madara still can't get Sasuke out of his head, which is partly due to the fact that they meet regularly in the meantime.  
Sasuke had come to his studio one more time when, a few months after his first visit, his parents died in a car accident. Once again he had a date and two names engraved under his skin, but this time in a much more painful place. He had hoped that the physical pain would distract him from the one in his soul, but it didn’t. Madara then gave him his mobile phone number, said if Sasuke wanted someone to talk to or needed anything, he could get in touch. He did it out of compassion. After all, the boy had lost his whole family within seven years. From now on he was completely alone and that at his early twenties.

A few weeks had passed before the first message, but it came and then they went for a coffee together. Nothing special, just a little talk. But for Madara it was not just talking. Every moment he spent with Sasuke hurt him immensely. He had so much more in common with Izuna than he had thought possible. But Izuna had promised him, when he was on his way to the festival, that he would come back - to him. And slowly Madara began to believe that he had really done so. Even if it seemed impossible, he couldn't help but firmly believe it.  
And now they were on the way together again. Drinking coffee again, in the café where they had met for the first time and have been meeting ever since.

With the fork Madara steals a piece of Sasuke's cake to try it himself, whereupon he grimaces grimly. "Why does your cake always taste better than mine?" he asks annoyed. Sasuke, who was in thought, needs a moment to process all this. Then he kicks Madara under the table. "Stop eating my cake all the time," he grumbles, but doesn't really mean it badly. He hits Madara's cream cake with the fork and squeezes it flat.

"Hey, my cake hasn't done you any harm," he protests and looks at the pile on his plate. "But you did mine, so it's deserved." He licks the fork and has to realize that his cake is actually better than Madara's. "If you don't want to be disappointed next time, you'll just have to get the same one as me," he suggests.

Disparagingly, Madara snorts, pushes the cream with one finger onto his fork and puts it into his mouth. "That's boring.”  
"Then I can't help you either," replies Sasuke and shrugs his shoulders.  
Dissatisfied, he grumbles. "All of you are always so nice to me.”  
"It's your own fault," Sasuke returns amused. "And now stop sulking, it doesn't suit you."

In the last months Madara has become a really good friend to him. He is one of the few people who understand him. He doesn't ask any questions, doesn't pester him, but waits until Sasuke wants to talk himself - or not. He really appreciates him and his whole nature.

With a snort Madara turns his head away, demonstratively pushing his lower lip forward a little, which makes Sasuke laugh softly. "I said no sulking, Maddy," he giggles, first stroking the other's hand and then his cheek. Surprisingly, it feels good to touch him like that.

Their eyes meet and for quite a while they do nothing else but look at each other. They look deeply into the other’s eyes, seeing in them every emotion, every pain that the other one has felt in his life. Automatically Sasuke leans forward a little, tries to look even deeper into Madara's soul, which seems to be lying in front of him like an open book at the moment.  
  
Madara imitates him. Seeing all the pain only makes his own worse, intensifies it, gives him the feeling of being torn apart. He wants to make it stop. He puts his hand heavily into Sasuke's neck, pulling him closer. Just stop the terrible, burning pain. And Sasuke seems to be the only one who could do it.  
He lowers his eyelids, breaking eye contact and not a second later their lips touch. Immediately the pain is gone, giving way to a pleasant tingling sensation that spreads throughout his entire body.  
  
For a moment Sasuke's breath stops as soft lips press against his own. As if by magic his eyes close, he intensifies the pressure - returns the kiss.  
  
As Sasuke returns the kiss, Madara's heart takes a small leap. It feels incredibly good to touch him in this way. It feels damned right. As right as never before in his whole life.

Sasuke's head is buzzing, he can't get a clear thought. Only this intoxicating feeling flows through his body. It feels so right to kiss Madara. But exactly this thought destroys everything. It feels right, but it is wrong.

Hastily he interrupts the kiss, distances himself from his counterpart. "You have a Boyfriend," it bursts out of him. With these four words he also brings Madara back to reality, who doesn't yet know exactly what's happening to him. "What?" he therefore asks something off the mark.

"Damn, Madara," Sasuke curses. "You are taken! We- This should not have happened. And this didn't happen either. It won't happen again either. It was wrong."

Everything in Madara resists, wants to shout 'No', but he remains sitting motionless while Sasuke takes money out of his pocket, puts it on the table, says a short goodbye and leaves the café as soon as possible. All of a sudden Madara feels incredibly empty. Just a moment ago he was flooded with endorphins, which are now all blown away. As if they had suddenly vanished into thin air. But Sasuke was right: he has a boyfriend. He is taken and has just kissed another.

With a terribly bad conscience he pays and then leaves the café. He does not know where to go. He can't go home, there is Hashirama and after this action he can't and won't face him. He doesn't even know if he should tell him about the kiss.

Even if he just wants to go somewhere, he still knows subconsciously where his legs are going to take him. So he buys a bouquet of flowers on the way and only stops in front of his brother's grave. He knows the inscription on the stone by heart and yet he reads it again, as he always does when he is here.

  
_Our beloved son and brother_

_Izuna_ _Uchiha_  
☆ _10.02.1992  
_ _†_ _24.07.2010  
Rest_ _in_ _peace. You will never be forgotten_

  
Madara hastily blinks away the emerging tears, bends over and puts the flowers in the vase. Again the pain comes up in him. Whenever he is here, he cannot control himself.  
"I fucked up, Izuna," he quietly begins to tell, looking further at the stone and at the little photo of his brother. It was taken just a few days before his death. By Madara himself.  
Again his throat contracts. "Really big shit ... and that's only because ... because you're not here anymore." His voice breaks, a tear rolls down his cheek. He closes his eyes. For a few minutes he just stands there, silently mourning his brother.  
"Why did you have to go there of all places...? We could have... gone for ice cream or something. Why did you have to leave me alone in this cruel world? Only because of you, I kissed another man, I cheated on Hashirama, because I see you in him and I want to protect him with everything I have. He lost his brother just like I lost you. He understands me. And because you are no longer here I have", he pauses, the realisation shakes him, "fallen in love with someone else while I am with Hashirama. No one but you has ever caused me greater pain, Izuna ..." He sinks to the floor, wipes the tears from his cheeks, which are immediately followed by new ones.

He remains seated. Mourning for his brother and the failed relationship with Hashirama, who deserves it the least.  
  


\- a few days later -

  
"Hashirama?" Madara calls his friend by his name who is sitting on the sofa watching TV, and stops next to him. "Can we talk?"

On the inside, Hashirama has to smile sadly. The time has come, he thinks. He had hoped that this day would never come, has made further plans for the future with Madara, but secretly he has known for weeks that this day would come. And now it is here. He turns off the television and slides a little to the side. Madara sits down next to him, tense, not knowing how and where to start. So he remains silent and Hashirama leaves him, doesn't push him to do anything.

"I- We- Well, I-" he stammers, cannot find the right words, because there are simply no right words for it. Everything you can say is wrong. "Oh, hell..." Desperately he runs his hand through his hair. "What I want to say is: I have been thinking lately. A lot. About you, me. About us. And-"

Hashirama interrupts him. "Madara." His voice sounds tired. He knows that Madara is trying hard. He knows that he wants to explain himself, from the very beginning, why it had to happen this way. But he doesn't have to, because Hashirama already knows everything. "I-" he starts again, but is interrupted a second time. "You are breaking up," Hashirama takes the words away from him. It was out and it just feels bad. Because he knows that that's what happened to them just now. That Madara would no longer be at his side, that they would no longer live together and that all his wishes, dreams and ideas of a common future had just vanished into thin air.

Totally perplexed and now even more overwhelmed by the situation than before, Madara looks at his counterpart. "You know it," he states soberly.

Hashirama smiles sadly. "Yes, I know it," he confirms the assumption. "And I've known it longer than you."

This statement irritates Madara even more. He has known it longer than himself? That can't even be possible.

"I've noticed it over the last few months," Hashirama now begins to explain himself, although Madara should be the one to do so. Not Hashirama, he himself! "Since you have been meeting with Sasuke regularly. He became a good friend to you, it was nice to see you so happy again. But the closer you came to him, the further away from me you became. First you avoided physical closeness, then you didn't want to have sex anymore and since a few days you avoided me as much as possible."  
Hashirama is right. About everything. Only now Madara realises that he has been turning away from him more and more for some time. It's been weeks since they were last intimate. Before Sasuke's time they were several times a week. But now they are not on speaking terms. It's not as if Hashirama hadn't tried. He has tried again and again to get closer to Madara, who has blocked every time. When he realises this, he only gets a worse conscience.

"Hashirama, I- I'm sorry," he finally brings out. He reaches for his hand, which is gently but surely pulled away. "Why didn't you say anything? I mean, I-, we- I'm sure we would have found a solution."

It hurts him to see Madara so desperate. He would love to hold him in his arms, tell him that everything is all right, that he forgives him everything and that he loves him. Instead, he does what is much more difficult and hurts much more: he shakes his head. His eyes fall on Madara's forearm. On the date and Izuna's name. He had pricked it himself back then in tears, so it had been too deep in some places and the skin above it had scarred and become a bit bulging. But it had to be that spot. Izuna had been allowed to prick the smiley face and heart by himself. That had been Madara's present for his eighteenth birthday. In return, he had also given him a tattoo, so that they had a partner tattoo and would be connected for the rest of their lives.

"He is like Izuna," Hashirama finally says, raising his eyes and looking at Madara. In his eyes he can see that he knows that Hashirama is telling the truth. "I never had a chance against Izuna. You have always loved him more than anyone else and will continue to do so. You couldn't even begin to love me as much as you loved Izuna ... as you love Sasuke now. I have lost and I accept my defeat even if it’s damn hard." As he is close to tears, he turns his head away, avoiding Madara's repentant and apologetic look.

"I'm sorry ... I really am," Madara apologises again, as he doesn't know what else to say. Because Hashirama has hit the nail on the head. "You really don't deserve this. You don't deserve _me_ , but someone much better. Someone who is not such an asshole and leaves you for someone else because he can't get over his dead brother. I'm so incredibly sorry, Hashirama."

He can't help but smile as he wipes away a tear that has found a way out of his eye.  
Oh Madara, there is no one better than you...  
It hurts so much, but he loves Madara so incredibly much. Again he turns to him and then pulls him into a tight embrace. It would probably be the last one.

Madara is a little surprised, but he puts his arms around Hashirama's body and enjoys his proximity for the first time in weeks. He has probably made a huge mistake. After all, he doesn't even know if Sasuke really wants to come on to him. Besides, he would reproach himself forever for what happened to Hashirama. But if the other person would let him do it, he would help him to find someone new who would appreciate Hashirama as he deserves.

Hashirama releases the embrace, whereupon Madara looks at him again. "Can we at least be-" He doesn't want to ask him if they can remain friends. This is probably the most shitty question you can ask after a break-up. But he doesn't want Hashirama to disappear completely from his life.

He automatically has to smile again. Sometimes Madara is really cute. "Give me some time, will you? This is fucking hard for me right now and won't get any better for the time being. I need time for myself now, for all this. But when I'm ready, I'll get in touch with you." Even if it wasn't quite the answer Madara was hoping for, he nods. After all, it was not a clear no.

"I'll pay all your bills for ice cream, chocolate, handkerchiefs and love films. Just send them to me." An honest and hearty laugh comes over Hashirama's lips before he pulls his ... ex-boyfriend to him once more.

"That's going to be expensive, then. I'll just buy Ben&Jerry's," he replies and feels a bit better. "Never mind, as long as you feel better quickly.”  
Hashirama gently strokes his cheek and gets up afterwards. It would be really hard to find someone better than Madara.  
"If I stay single forever because of you, you'll owe me ten cats."

“You'll get all of them," Madara says seriously. "Even twelve. Even though you aren’t a grandfather at twenty-eight, so you'd better find someone new fast"  
"Just wait until you're my age. Then you'll feel older and unattractive too," Hashirama jokes, about which Madara is incredibly grateful.

"It'll be two months from now. I'll let you know." He grins back slightly.

Hashirama's smile fades away. "I gotta go, soon." He goes into the bedroom, whith Madara following him, and takes a packed suitcase from the wardrobe. "I told you that I knew. It was just a question of time," he answers the unasked question. "For the furniture and the other stuff, we will find a solution. But please give me a few days or of time."  
"Of course," Madara answers without hesitation. "Where are you going now?" he wants to know as he follows Hashirama through the flat again. After all, he doesn't want him to live under a bridge.

"To Tobirama. He's OK with me staying with him for a while." He takes his bunch of keys, slowly takes off the key to the flat and puts it even more slowly on the chest of drawers in the hall. He doesn't want to leave, he would so much rather stay here and fall asleep in Madara's arms. But he knows that his time in Madara's life at his side is over and that now someone else will take over. Slowly he opens the door, goes outside, looks at the three steps and turns to Madara. In his eyes there is a clear sign of serious regret. He regrets that it ended like this, that he hurt him so much. And that doesn’t make it any easier for Hashirama to leave.

  
It feels wrong to stand here. To know that Hashirama will not come back in a few hours, that it will never be the same again as it has been for the past seven years. That this period in his life is over now. He would like best to move him back into the flat, but he has to admit to himself that he would not be happy with that. Not any more.

Just as Madara opens his mouth to say something else, to apologise one more time, Hashirama presses his lips to his for the last time. The kiss is gentle, but also full of feelings - from both sides. Far too quickly Hashirama detaches himself from him again, reels a "Farewell, Madara" and turns around as tears rise to his eyes. Hastily he goes down the few steps, runs purposefully towards the next bus stop, lips pressed together, eyes squeezed together again and again, and tears flowing down his cheeks as his heart feels like it is going to burst.

"Goodbye, Hashirama," Madara mumbles, looks after him and doesn't close the door until Hashirama is around the corner and doesn't come back until the bus has passed the flat. And again there is this feeling of emptiness as he sits down on the sofa where just a few minutes ago he and Hashirama were sitting together. He cannot deny that he misses him. His agitated and cheerful nature. But now it is quiet in the flat and he hears nothing but the ticking of the clock and his own breath. It would be difficult to get used to this silence after the past seven years.

oOo

[Madara, 11:42: Can we talk?], he texts to Sasuke the next morning. The break up troubles him as well, so he needed some time to calm down before he had the strength to devote himself to the real reason for the break up - Sasuke.

[Madara, 11:43: Not in the café, somewhere else. Maybe in the park or so], he still sends after.

It takes a while before he gets an answer. In that time he has some breakfast, even if he is neither hungry nor has an appetite. Hashirama always made breakfast for them...

[Sasuke, 13:04: Park is ok. When?]

[Madara, 13:36: At 3?]

[Sasuke, 13:59: Ok]

This ended the conversation for the time being. At shortly before three Madara is sitting on a bench in the park. This was probably not the best idea for the end of October, as he has to admit, but he wants to talk to Sasuke in a place with which he has no connection and where there are not many people around and they have their peace.

Silently, Sasuke sits down next to him at exactly three o'clock. Punctual as always.  
At first they are silent. Madara watches some children trying to fly kites. Again and again they try to get it in the air and don't give up, although it is more on the ground than in the sky.

"Hashirama and I broke up yesterday," he now reveals the reason why he wants to talk to Sasuke, who remains silent, not sure what to say.  
"Because of the kiss?" he finally asks.

With a sigh, Madara strokes back his hair. "Because of you." It wasn't the kiss, Madara knows that. Hashirama would probably have forgiven him for that, not made a big deal out of it, but it was more than that. With Sasuke's questioning look, Madara tells him the story. Starting with Izuna, so he can understand everything. He tells how he and Izuna were one heart and soul, how he felt after his death and how Hashirama helped him out of this deep hole. He tells why he distanced himself more and more from Hashirama, why he wants to protect Sasuke and finally he tries to explain why he fell in love with him, although he doesn't know it himself. He doesn't know what exactly triggered these feelings in him, why he feels this way for him, although he sees his _brother_ in him and one should certainly not feel this way for his brother.

Again Sasuke is silent, lets the information sink in and listens into himself to find out what exactly he feels. If he feels the same way as Madara or if it is different with him.  
Even if he is restless, because he has now revealed everything to Sasuke and who is only silent, he says nothing, plays with his jacket’s buttons and waits for a reaction.

"And now?" Sasuke asks wittily.

Madara can't help it, looks at him with a what-do-you-ask-me look and shrugs his shoulders to underline this. "You have to say something so that we can answer the question. Whether you feel the same way or something similar, or whether I'm a fucking moron because I broke up with my boyfriend, whom I've known for most of my life, because of my stupidity, and now I have to buy ten cats as well for myself.”  
  
“You are him anyway,” Sasuke says dryly. "The chump," he adds in case Madara doesn't know what he means.  
Snorting he mumbles a sarcastic "Thank you". He supports his forearms on his knees. "Will I get an answer today or should I come back tomorrow?" Slowly he gets impatient. He is also getting cold. The jacket he is wearing is definitely too thin for the end of October.

"I feel comfortable with you," Sasuke admits and leans back on the bench. "Safe, secure, taken seriously, understood. Even if it's really damn mean and I'm ashamed of it, a part of me was happy when you told me that your time with Hashirama is over. Especially that I am the reason for it. I'm attracted to you."  
  
“You aren’t the only one,” Madara grumbles, gets a slap on the shoulder for it and quietly follows up with "Sorry".  
  
"What I meant to say," he pauses, with Madara turning his head towards him, as he has been staring at the floor the whole time, "I'd like to give it a try with you. Slowly. I don't want to move in with you immediately. And I don't want to be a substitute for Hashirama." It was out. Finally. After all these months of being unsure what those feelings are, because after all, he mustn’t fall in love with a taken man, he finally said it, though not quite as openly as he had thought, but more in code. But Madara has definitely understood him.

He continues to look Sasuke in the eyes, straightening up and turning not only his head but the rest of his body towards him for the first time since they sat here. "Can you say that again?" he asks, because he has to hear it again to be sure that it wasn't an illusion.

"What exactly?" Sasuke asks, with a slight smile playing around his lips. But Madara goes into it.

"The part about you wanting to giving it a try with me."

The chuckle on Sasuke's lips becomes even wider. "I would like to give it a try with you."  
"And what exactly?" Madara reiterates.

Everything, shoots through Sasuke's head first. Even though Madara would certainly like the answer, it is not the right one for the situation. "To have a relationship."

And then he kisses him. No sooner has Sasuke uttered the words, Madara's lips press against his and he kisses him as full of longing as nobody ever before. For the first time since Sasuke has been near him, he doesn't think of Izuna but only of him. About Sasuke.

With one hand on his neck, Sasuke lets himself be drawn to his new _boyfriend_ , puts his hands on his shoulders and puts as much feeling into the kiss as he can. He loves him, he is sure of that. And he knows that he will never leave his side again. But it will take quite a while before he tells that to Madara.


	2. Happy end for everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Hashirama feel after the break up with Madara?
> 
> A short view into his life afterwards.

It had taken three months for Hashirama to get in touch with Madara after the break up, with the exception that he wished him happy birthday. Madara had texted him from time to time in the beginning, but rarely received a reply and when he did, it was very short and didn't reveal much. So he had decided to leave Hashirama alone and give him the time he had asked for.

[Hashirama, 16:12: Hey], he couldn't think of anything better.

[Madara, 16:35: Hey]

[Madara, 16:36: How are you?]

[Hashirama, 16:39: Better. It will get better]

[Madara, 16:52: That sounds good]

Read.

[Madara, 17:24: Wanna get some coffee?]

Read. Typing. Online. Writes. Offline. Online. Offline. Typing.

[Hashirama, 17:49: Currently I have a lot to do at work and not much time. I’ll let you know when I’m free again]. It was a lie. He actually had a lot of work to do, but still enough free time. He just wasn't ready to face Madara again. His fear was that he would fall back into the hole he had been squatting in for the last few months and from which he has had difficulty getting out. In fact, he felt better, but still every thought of Madara hurt incredibly.  
  


Another four months passed, during which they had regular contact, before Hashirama asked for a meeting. He felt ready for it now and didn’t want Madara to be completely out of his life. Even though it might be very difficult, he still wanted to be friends with him.

Their first meeting after seven months was ... interesting. After an embarrassing handshake-hug thing, because both of them didn't know how to greet each other, they sat together, drank coffee and talked for an hour. Madara mainly listened, he had always been better at that, and Hashirama relaxed with time passing by. He enjoyed talking to him so casually and forgot for a moment how hard the last six months had been for him. Madara's relationship with Sasuke never came up. He was aware that this would only drag down Hashirama and, to be honest, he didn't want to talk about it.  
  


Time passed. They met regularly, at least once a month, to listen to what was going on in each other's lives. Thus, over the weeks and months, a close friendship developed between the two of them, without them even realising it. Hashirama was very happy when he realised that all his romantic feelings for Madara had given way to friendship. So he could meet him without a guilty conscience.

Slowly he and Sasuke became closer as well. Sasuke had not been enthusiastic about the meetings in the beginning because he feared that Hashirama would try to win Madara back. It took a while until they became kosher and friendly to each other, but then the couple invited their friend for a barbecue one or two times in summer. After a while, Madara also dropped his inhibitions in Hashirama's presence, let Sasuke touch him when he put his arms around him from behind, or gave him one or two kisses. This was not unpleasant for Hashirama, he was happy to see his _best friend_ so happy.  
  


Hashirama put the bone on the plate where he had nibbled a little bit. "I have something to confess to you," he says conspiratorially and leans forward a little. Sasuke looks at him curiously, Madara sceptical and irritated.

"That frightens me. Are you sure I even want to hear this? "

A smile lies on Hashirama's lips. "I have met someone." The surprise on the faces of his friends makes him chuckle. "I don't know him that well yet, but I think he's interested in me. Even though I'm not entirely comfortable with the way he looks at me. As if he wanted to top me.”

Madara leans back in his chair with a grin and crossed arms. The wind blows a few hairs into his face, which Sasuke pushes back behind his ear. "That's good news for once," he says and is honestly happy for Hashirama. That took long enough. "I told you, you won't have to celebrate your thirtieth as a single."

Hashirama snorts amusedly. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. After all, it's already in a month."  
  
"Then get a move on," Sasuke suggests. "You can easily wrap him around you finger wih your charme."

While he wipes his hands on a napkin and takes a sip, Hashirama thinks about their words. "We meet tomorrow and have lunch together. Then I'll see what happens next."

Madara clicks his tongue. "If I’d known that beforehand, we would have had this barbecue the day after tomorrow, so that we would know everything immediately."

Hashirama laughs softly. He is pleased that the two are so excited. He knows how much Madara wants him to find someone new who can return all his pent-up feelings and make him happy.

"How did you meet each other in the first place?" Sasuke asks, reaches out for the baguette and breaks off a piece of it.

"During work. They worked as a craftsman in our house and I supported the team and was responsible for all queries. As the work took several weeks, we talked a lot. And on the last day, when they were dismantling and cleaning up, he asked me if I would like to go out with him."

"Mhm." Humming, Madara puts a hand on Sasuke's thigh, strokes it with his thumb. "I didn't think I'd live to see the day you'd let yourself get topped." A grin adorns his lips. Hashirama snorts again. "I certainly won't. He can forget that!“

Madara rests his free arm on the back of the chair, his chin on the hand and looks at the other person with interest. "Would you let it fail because of that? If that was a reason for him not to want anything permanent?"

"If _that_ 's a reason for him, then he's an asshole," he returns in a huff, but smiles as Madara starts to laugh.

"Well, that's true."  
  


A month later they are all together in Hashirama's flat. Madara, Sasuke, Hashirama's family, his new boyfriend and some other friends of Hashirama.

The date had gone well, the two of them got closer and it didn't take long until butterflies spread in Hashirama's stomach at the thought of him. He had fallen in love again. Almost two years after the break up with Madara he had finally fallen in love again.

It’s the twenty-second October just before midnight. The music, the drinks and the people harmonize very well, the mood is exuberant. It doesn’t take long, as the guests count down from ten and at the stroke of midnight they all shout "Happy Birthday!” Hashirama is beaming. All the people he loves are gathered around him. Madara stops in front of him, with a big cake in his hands, representing thirty.

"Happy birthday," he says smiling.

Even wider than he already is, Hashirama smiles back, holds his hair and blows out the candles. The guests applaud, Madara puts the cake away and pulls him into a firm and friendly embrace, which Hashirama immediately returns. "Thank you", he whispers into his ear, lowers his eyelids as tears of joy rise to his eyes. "Thanks for everything, Madara."

The others also hug him one by one. The cake is distributed and Hashirama stands in the room with a plate in his hand, eating the calorie bomb as an arm wraps around his waist. He turns his head to the man who is now standing next to him - his boyfriend - and smiles at him. He lets him kiss him for a moment before he puts his finger in the cream and then presses it onto the other’s nose.

Grinning, Madara looks at the two of them. "Now you have to tell us something, Hashirama," he demands and thus gains the attention of his friend, who raises an eyebrow inquiringly and with interest. Madara's grin becomes even wider. "Top or Bottom?"

Now Hashirama himself has to grin and answers casually: "We're still debating."

"Well, a new decade can also bring new experiences," a voice whispers into his ear, but so loud that the others can hear it too.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, my dear," he replies laughing. He is just damn happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to part two. Hope you liked it!  
> I can't stand sad-endings, so I had to make Hashirama happy again. It's quite short but I didn't want to draw it out unnecessarily.
> 
> See/read you soo, hopefully!

**Author's Note:**

> The song in the beginning is "Tatoots" by Jason Derulo as well as the chapter's title.


End file.
